Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
