oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
