Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
