she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
