It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
