R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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