Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize