But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
