Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
