I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
