Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
