Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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