i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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