I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
