My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
