wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
