I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
