it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
