I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
