member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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