Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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