Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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