it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
