Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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