Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
