So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
