shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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