mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
