oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
