Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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