We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
