my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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