Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
