They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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