He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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