I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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