Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
