I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
