I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
bring money and cleavage
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
How does one acquire holy water?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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