Umm I'm too high to move.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
