Well douche your snatch and let's go!
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
