and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
