I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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