I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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