do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
