i already hear my dad disowning me
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
