i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize