Sorry, I don't speak sober.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
