Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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