I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
party gras won. party gras always wins.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
