a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Randomize
