Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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