i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
