so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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