your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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