He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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