Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
you made out with another girl for some wings
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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