some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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