I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
