i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
